protocols

(embellished via Candid Engineer)

Clean walls, floors too. The benefit of the first Monday of the month was that the cleaning crews had come in and done as much as they can. The hallways were quite nice for the time being. Daniel appreciated that. The labs? That was another thing.

Mondays in general worked well. They are the high point in the weekly motivational time series. Personnel were likely to be present, engaged in whatever activities they were engaged in. Not everyone is a morning person, so lunch time works best. Right after lunch time. That’s when Daniel roams the halls giving informal surprise laboratory inspections.

That lab on the third floor, the mango-y one. Hadn’t been back there in a while. He flipped through the clip board in his hand to the relevant page:

A list of equipment, chemicals, required labels, required training.

Level 3 Chem-J status – Heavy duty hoods – Bio level 1.

and looky here

A minor infraction from three months ago. A research assistant was found to be storing her lean cuisines in the -70 freezer.

Sloppy.
Sloppy.

Quickly through the checklist now. Things to look for. Forms to have at the ready. And the stickers: yellow, orange, and red. As he turned his route towards the lab entrance seemingly out of no where, a young woman pushed her way past him and quickly limped her way towards a sink.

eww eww eww eww eww

+What’s going on here?

No answer.

+What is that stuff there?

-Dog shit.

+ Dog shi-..? Why do you have, fecal matter, in the lab?

-It’s on my foot. I stepped in it.

+Where?

-Outside.

Daniel considered his options.

+Well you can’t bring that foot in here. Contamination…

-It’s fine.

+No, it’s not fine.

-Why not?

+Well, first shoes. No open toed shoes, never mind a lack of shoes. Second, standing. All standing is to be done in stable manner. You don’t look…stable.

The woman paused, averted her attention from the offending foot momentarily, bluntly looked towards Daniel and swiftly ended the conversation.

-There’s nothing wrong with this.

To: department-all@brilliantU.edu

From:danielv@brilliantU.edu

Subject: Dog Feces Safety Protocol

A crucial addendum to general lab safety.

Section 4, Paragraph 2: With the regard to the cleaning and disposal of dog shit. The cleaning of dog feces, all related material, and such, shall be not be conducted in or near laboratory premises. Regardless of squishiness, foul odor or relative level of ‘steamingness’. If necessary, frou-frou foamy soap is available in the restrooms for this purpose.

A level 2 violation will result, from this point on.

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One Response to protocols

  1. Pingback: Foot Safety | Candid Engineer in Academia

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